Tales from a Not So Wicked Stepmom
I remember the first time I tried to pick the kids up from school without my husband. There I was, waiting in the hour long pick up line, and I finally made it to the front. I told the administrator the kid’s names and am quickly informed I was not on the approved pick up list. Their mother was supposed to add me to the list that week, but conveniently forgot to do so. So there I sat perplexed at how I was going to get the school to allow the kids to leave with me. You see, for some reason their mother had convinced the school that she was the only one permitted to add and remove names from the pickup list, therefore my husband couldn’t even assist me. After about 20 minutes of consecutive calls to their mother she finally answered the phone and agreed to meet me at the school at which time she would check out the kids. She didn’t even add me to the list then!! So I was allowed to take the kids for the weekend, but I wasn’t allowed to pick them up from school. That ladies and gentlemen is what you call control.
Speaking of control, I can remember so many occasions when my husband would be at work, leaving me alone with the kids, and they would be completely out of control. There was this one time I had told the boys to make their bed, seemed like a simple request. Well instead of making the bed, they ran out of the house and down the street, storming through our neighbor’s yards. I kid you not! I didn’t know what to do! My first reaction was to grab them and smack their little bottoms, but nope I couldn’t do that. That’s a boundary even to this day I haven’t crossed. I knew if I yelled at them they would only ignore me, so I went inside and sat down on the couch. About 15 minutes later they came inside with perplexed looks on their faces. The best thing I could do at that point was ignore them, so that’s exactly what I did. And boy did that drive them crazy. They did however end up making their bed!
I so badly wish my husband’s divorce attorney would’ve provided him and his former wife with a cohesive Parenting Plan. So many of the obstacles we have faced could have been avoided had they had one. A Parenting Plan removes any guess work, and settles disputes often before they even occur. I know that if the conflict level between my husband and his ex was reduced then the children’s attitudes would improve. When they witness conflict, they create conflict. They are a product of their environment, and sadly they spent the first six years of their lives watching their parents constantly argue.